Honestly, Invest Eight Dollars!

So assuming you've read my previous post about the family situation, we have a new bump in the road. A baby! That adds another hundred dollars to the monthly budget for prenatal vitamins and doctor visits. That cuts down on a lot of time for the six year old to be spent at the tutor's. Working a minimum wage job as an adult for 40 hours each, that puts a strain on anyone's physical and mental health. And not to mention the work that will have to be taken off for the baby to be born and then the one million dollars the child will cost throughout it's lifetime, well that's a whole different story because right now we have to concentrate on the monthly costs for right now.
And what do I say? I say, invest now that eight dollars for condoms instead of spending thousands on a new life. Honestly. I know that sounds rude but just think about it. How could you afford another child when you can barely afford the two you have now? Children are a blessing and a curse. Getting pregnant should be a happy time when two people feel even closer than they ever have and their relationship is taken to the next level (sometimes never being the same as it was before). And that's what's wrong with teenagers getting pregnant these days. For one, they don't know how to be suitable parents. Heck, I even think about it right now and I would probably go insane. Literally. I don't know how anyone can do it and I give props to the girls who do it but just think about the issues they will have later on? Trying to be a kid and raise a kid? It doesn't work that way. And for two, the teenage years are about finding out your place in the world and in society and if you can't do that properly without a child to also raise, how will you ever be stable enough to live on your own? Now, yes, there are girls who do it and make it through but it is definitely not without struggle along the way.
Now that I have gotten off of topic, back to this family. If this was a real life situation, I don't think they realize the hole they have really gotten themselves into. They're already living on bare minimum. There is so much that we aren't including into this monthly price. I mean what about furniture? Dishes? The small things like dish soap? Shampoo? Toothpaste? Everything adds up and what? Are these people supposed to just go to work, come home, go to bed constantly? No, I'm pretty sure they want to have a little fun every once in awhile. But its not possible now that they have another child... Part of it to me is irresponsibility on their part.

Also, I want to clear some things up. My biological father (I have a step dad who's married to my mom and a step mom who's married to my dad) did go to college at UW Stevens Point but because I haven't actually lived with him through probably the very critical few years since I was fifteen, he hasn't directly influenced me. He has always strongly suggested college, and I've always known its important, but he also supports in my idea to wait. I am a little worried that I won't go back but I would rather get out on my own and on my own feet before I try to even take on the struggle of college. I know that I have to pay for my own college and I understand the benefits of going to college so I'm mostly confident I will go back. That's why I got my grades up this year instead of just throwing away senior year like I did with my past three years of high school. Also, my mom WAS going to college to be a police officer but because of the dangers she dropped out after so long to be a mother. My step mom did go to college. My step dad did not but he has a good job and got it by going through an apprenticeship. So I mean I do have a perfectly fine family who stress going to college. But I do see how someone would not see the benefits by going.

So kids, stay safe and invest in condoms.

As I sit here, in my room (which is horribly messy), eating Reese's Pieces on my two year old laptop, yes there's cracks in my window and I haven't finished painting the walls but I still live in a house that has three bedrooms and a small acreage outside for a hobby farm. That's not even close to being as bad as the family that I got today in Sociology. Yeah, I might whine and complain that I have to save up for a car and pay for a lot of my own stuff, but there are people who have it worse. This family lived on minimum wage and even though it was lower than what realities minimum wage is, it would still probably equal out to the same amount if we took into consideration today's living costs, etc. These parents work both full time and have a 17 year old son and a 6 year old daughter with a learning disability. Even without having a learning disability, children of any age are expensive and it wouldn't be fair to as the 17 year old to get a job just to make up for what the parents cant pay for. And then for the parents job not to cover any sort of health insurance, they would have to be a very lucky family if they didn't get sick or hurt. And you would want to do the best that you could for your child by paying a tutor to help the six year old even though you can't necessarily fit it in the budget. Along with getting a lower priced apartment comes with the neighborhood you are stuck into. The schools that surround it might not necessarily be fitted with good teachers and so then the kid's education won't be at a level that other kids are at and the low income that the parents already have doesn't help them send him to college even though kids should pay for their own college. Everything just spirals into one. During the budgeting process it was actually surprisingly stressful on how we had to fit so many things into a little spending limit. Its like it was real life and you just wanted everything to work out.
We all take for granted what we actually do have. I take for granted that I work two jobs and even though I have to pay for a lot it doesnt even come close to what people have to deal with in real life. And it was almost unfair to look at the other groups who had so much money and say "well why don't you give me some of your money?" But it doesn't work that way and these people were a deserving poor group.

Also, I just felt as though I really needed to get something off of my chest. Today someone in our class made a comment some wheres along the line of how the six year old was just "dumb" so then why should they budget private tutoring into their life? That is so wrong. On so many levels. No one wants to be born with a disability no matter what it is: whether its learning or physical or a mental disorder. No one chooses to be wired the way they are. And the comment wasn't even meant a different way than it was said. It was a cruel, harsh, and judgmental way to think. Some people just don't understand what reality is and someday, it will come around. That's all.

Group Dynamics

So to be completely honest, I really don't have many friends. I have acquaintences but not many close friends. I stick to my Primary Groups. I have a boyfriend and maybe one or two close female friends at a time. Over the years I've had many close friends and I know first hand how unstable Primary Groups are. I have observed other groups and their ranks how there's always that one person that is the one that others gravitate towards. Some are on the outskirts of the group and some are the motivators. From what I've seen, the more attractive people are in the center; it seems to be the human nature to revolve around the better looking ones. Probably because our eyes see before our ears hear but that's besides the point. It doesn't necessarily mean that the other people's personalities are ugly it just means that some others aren't as aggressive.
The other night I was at a "nerd party" (guys playing xbox- SO.... interesting...) and I could even plainly see how their group was composed. Again, the better looking guys who had a little bit more of witty comments or jokes or moves were the ones that everyone gravitated towards whether it was sitting by them or listening to their ideas. It still is the same with guys as it is with girls. Generally our class would have done girl examples except for the 2 guys so I figured I'd mix it up a bit.
Maybe I just don't really see the group dynamics because I try to ignore them and plus I could just be on the outsides so I can take a step back and look at what is going on around me. Girls aren't the only ones fighting for dominance.
I can definately say that I used to be a "top dog" in my group back in "the day" when I went to school at Neenah. Now at Neenah the group dynamics are SO outlined its not even funny. Its like a black and white difference (granted the chance of actually getting to know a greater majority of the kids at Neenah is not even a possibility so I'm basing this off of what little panoramic view I got while I was there as a Freshman and Sophomore). Its obvious that the more aggressive kids are going to be the ones at the top. And I use aggressive in a term where many people might not know that they are actually being "aggressive". Subconsciously it seems like everyone is fighting to work their way to the top. It doesn't just mean the popular girls who are really alone and insecure. Its also the nerds who compete to see who has the most smarts. I would even bet that the nice people are also battling to the top: who can be the nicest. It's just part of human nature.

Values

I like to think of my values system as being not necessarily coming from religion that I was brought up with, but coming from what I personally think is right or wrong. Everyone generally has their own belief system and most of the time that can actually come from the people that they're around every day. Someone who is used to being able to swear in front of their parents, may not know anything else and even though it is a very disrespectful thing to do-might do it in front of their friend's parents.
With that being said, I do value my moral integrity. I don't swear in front of adults because I find that is very disrespectful. But I have noticed as I got older (my mom is a habitual swearer-don't tell her I said that on a public blog) that it has become harder to hold it back in. Why? Because I am so used to hearing it constantly from my parents, my friends, music, media, you name it-its there. Except church. Which I don't go to anymore. Speaking of church. I was raised in a Christain household at my dad's house and I also went to a non-denominational (pretty much christain) middle school. That doesn't mean that I value religion in my every day life. That's something I don't value because who am I to say that my "god" is right while the people of India's are wrong?
Also a major value of mine is that I NEVER pick up the aweful habit of smoking cigarettes (my mother is also a smoker-please don't judge and think she's a bad person, these are just facts of life). I've never been a partier either- I pretty much refuse to drink or do drugs. Not because I judge other people who do them or because I "have such a perfect life I'll ruin everything". No. Because I personally think that morally there is no point for ME to do them. Maybe its the "religion" in me or maybe its just because I've always been a little bit more mature. I'm sorry, I actually like to remember how my Friday night went, boring or not. Therefore that has definately affected my life in a very serious way. I was always being asked "want to do this" or "what to do that". And every time I was able to stand up and say you know what? No. In my opinion it took a lot to not fall into that kind of peer pressure when I am the type of person to follow others, especially when I was younger.
One thing I never used to value: school. I'm not quite sure on how I feel about school at the moment, sitting in school myself, but I never got good grades in high school. Honestly? I just didn't give a crap. I'm a very smart person. No, I'm not math or science orientated but I rank high above my peers in writing, reading, and other creative areas. Granted, I feel like in this post, my thoughts are jumping all over the place. No big deal... Over time, the value of education has become less and less. Kids fresh out of high school are realizing why spend the big bucks to get the same degree at a UW school that you could get for way cheaper at a technical college? Although I say, if you have the grades to get into a top notch school, then its worth paying the loans for the rest of your life, but for me, I don't have the grades-so I'm not going to pay. I can't really say anything on the value of education because I have literally washed my whole high school career down the drain all because I lacked motivation and self drive and now I am paying for it. If I refer to my mom in these posts its because I pretty much looked up to her the entire time of my childhood. Yes, my dad was there but it doesn't mean that I found similarities in myself that I had with him. I'm like my mom, I've gotten over it. Yes she values education but does that mean that having to see her go through the struggles of not finishing college because of me change my view? Nope. Turns out I blew it off just like her. I was too worried about having a social life (which I never really actually had- I was recognized for very much the wrong things) instead of turning in that 5 point assignment that I didn't care about the night before. Well long behold, I didn't fail multiplication because those 5 point assignments? There was 50 of them and before I know it- I would have a D- in that class. Me? I didn't care. This year I want to care so I'm striving to make my senior year my best for grades. I tried that last year being a Junior-yup, didn't work out too well. Same stuff, different day.
I have values, don't drink, don't smoke, don't swear, don't drive reckless, get good grades this year, don't look like a loser. But do I think that I have to deal with a lot of the issues that I will have to face once I turn 18 in December and then finally graduate? Nah. I don't have to worry about any of that right now... My values are still technically developing even though they say that you should know what you want now or else you're never going to make it. I don't know, I'm just still a kid I'm working it out...
Sorry for it being so long and very... unformal and unorganized!

Writing on this blog might be the hardest thing that I've had to do in awhile. Not only does it pose some difficult questions, it also forces me to put my opinions and feelings on the Internet under my own name in front of my peers. I have found it is ten times easier to speak your mind, do stupid things, or be a completely different person in front of people who you do not know and probably will never meet again.

Why can girls say "oh that's just a guy thing" and guys say "that's a girl thing" to justify each other's actions? Why do girls wear their hair longer than three inches and if guys' surpasses five its considered unkept and greasy? Most teenagers aren't given these things to think about; its just "the way it is". Granted, I personally do not have all the answers and not nearly the life experiences to be able to explain why these things happen to each gender.

There are probably more questions running around my head than answers to the 5 things I was asked to write about for Sociology class. I don't even understand fully what were supposed to write about.